Saturday, November 19, 2005

Life imitating art?

I believe I have unearthed yet another conspiracy. First, I revealed that Phil Spector and Paul Shaffer are the same person. Now, I have a new (but equally shocking) theory. It seems to me that stupid people with particular names are genetically predisposed to mate. Example: L.A.'s resident epsilons BRITNEY Spears and ex-husband-to-be KEVIN Federline (K-Fed), and, Lawndale's resident epsilons BRITTANY Taylor and KEVIN Thomson... Coincidence? Or something more sinister...?

Above: Kevvy and Brit trying to remember where they left their kid... "He was, like, totally there a minute ago... I think..."

Below: Thankfully the other Kevvy and Brit have, unlike their counter-parts, been able to figure out the contraception thing. Although, they're still having trouble with the getting dressed thing.

Meanwhile, has anyone heard what has happened to K-Fed's career as a legitimate rap artiste? Personally, I think his only real link to the rap community, (apart from those fabulous corn rows he's sporting in that picture), is the fact that Kanye West's song Gold Digger could've been written about him. But I'd still like to hear the results; what an outstanding train wreck it will be! Anyone listened to any of his songs?

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Donna, Rue, and gherkins; signs that you might be procrastinating...

Wondering if you, too, may be suffering from the debilitating ailment known as procrastination? Wonder no more! Here's a list of warning signs to look for, if the events of my day are anything to go by...

  • You spend way too much time dancing around to Donna Summer songs in your underwear. And singing along, too. (Disco has claimed yet another victim. I bet my neighbours were feeling love for me.)
  • You find yourself sitting in your room making sandwiches for several hours (ricotta and gherkin on cibatta. SERIOUSLY GOOD.)
  • You start reading websites about Rue McClanahan (thanks goes to Ben, for pointing me in the direction of the Rue Crew.)
  • ... And as you learn about all things Rue, you find yourself wondering if some of her flicks might be at you local video store, particularly the TV-movies based on off-Broadway musicals (isn't that a terrifying concept?! For a sterling example, go here... Thanks, again, Ben!)
  • You start getting creative in the kitchen (admittedly, for a culinarily-challenged person like me, putting a couple of teaspoons of jam into plain yoghurt counts as pretty exotic. Hey, it still tastes good.)
  • Instead of doing your own work, you find yourself trying to help other people with theirs.
  • You start putting lots of hyperlinks in your blog entries, thus making it take longer to write because you're really crap at putting in hyperlinks. (Wow, I just found the hyperlink button! Now I don't have to type in that stupid HTML code everytime. I am such a n00b.)

If symptoms persist, consult your doctor.