My favourite ways of procrastinating...

I'm presently on my Easter break for uni, and I have my work cut out for me, lemme tell ya. I've got a couple of essays to write, books to finish, reading to catch up on, and movies to watch. But do you think I'm actually doing it? Hell no! That's not the way I work, unfortunately. What I do instead is put it off! It's a barrel of laughs, kid, believe you me. In fact, for you reading pleasure, here's a list of my favourite procrasti-rrific ways of wasting time:

Sleeping in: pretty self-explanatory. And so much fun.

Watching telemovies: they're so cheesy and Channel 7 has the absolute best (and by best I mean lamest) ones around. They usually give Jerry Springer a run for his money in terms of tackiness, and they always seem to be based on the most unlikely sounding "true stories". As for instance, today I watched one where an old man kidnapped his 15-year-old granddaughter's baby (who naturally had severe asthma) to protect it from the 30-something de facto of his own daughter who had raped and impregnated the girl and then claimed sole custody of the baby. Unfortunately I missed the ending so I'll never know if, using a ring of friendly truck drivers who took him and the kid around, he escaped from the cops and lived happily ever after! (Does your head in a bit, doesn't it?)

Calling people: when I start ringing people up I know I'm really desperate. That's because I actually really don't like talking on the phone. But it does waste time and on the plus side if talking to a friend who has a problem you can lie to yourself and say it's not your fault that you're wasting time. They need you!

Buying lunch from far away restaurants: it's great because you get to eat something delicious and it takes ages to actually get it and get home again. You win twice!

Writing in my blog: ... oh, dear. I'd better go. I just realised that I'm doing it again. But before I get started on work, I'd better just go down to Noodle Box and get lunch... (I wish that was a joke.)

The worst TV show in the world...

I wasn't going to talk about television in this blog because it is boring, (except for 'Law and Order', or course), but it seems as though I'm going to do it anyway. I just have to say it... 'Mutant X' is absolutely the most awful thing I have ever witnessed. It's a train wreck. The wooden, robotic acting is complemented by horrendously bland characters. The script-writing is such that you have no emotional involvement with the characters, ie. you don't really care whether they live or die. It's also totally derivative of 'X-Men', (in case you couldn't already gather that from the title!), yet without any of the charm or humour. And the mutants just look like normal people until their powers manifest themselves in the form of purple light coming out of their hands or something, à la 'Charmed'. (BORING!) It's completely fluffy and yet seems to be trying to take itself seriously. The story lines are really dull, and the technology is ripped straight out of 'The Matrix' or something (the poor man's version, anyway). The special effects are up there with 'Dr Who' in terms of lameness, but again, without any of the charm of that series. Plus, the main "hot, hot babe" of the show also stars in 'Days of Our Lives'. 'Nuf said. UGH. It's so, so, so bad. Never watch it.

That is all.

Da Word...

Here are the top three pretentious words I learnt at school this week.

1. Facture
2. Materiality
3. Objecthood

'Facture' means how something is made; line, composition and colour are elements of facture. As nearly as I can tell 'materiality' and 'objecthood' are an object's physical properties. These are terms used to describe art works or handicrafts; ostensibly anything that has been made.

This week 'Da Word' is brought to you by the good people of the Art History department.

The University of Melbourne™ ... Wankerfying the elite and the bourgeoisie since 1854.