Monday, April 10, 2006

Blog Town and Z Girl... The diary of a first-time skater; age 20

Reasons I shouldn't learn to skate:
-I'm almost 6 feet tall, and gangly as all fuck
-I have no co-ordination
-It takes me ages to acquire skills (refer to when I attempted to learn to ski, or when I tried to teach myself the dance at the end of 'Footloose' for further examples of this)
-I hate making a jack-arse out of myself, except for the purposes of this blog
-Skating is pretty lame
-People will laugh at me
-My board sucks (it was $20; I knew what I was getting myself into when I bought it!)
-I've already broken my left wrist twice; I probably shouldn't tempt fate
-I'm almost 21 and ought to know better by now

Reasons I should learn to skate:
-Ummmm... ?

The diary so far...

Friday 24th of March: Bought my first ever deck at the Toy Kingdom 50% off sale. An ominous beginning, don't you think?

Saturday 1st of April: Got on my board and went up and down the street for a bit. Heard my neighbours coming out of their house so I ran away in fear, lest they catch me in the act.

Sunday 2nd of April: Got my dad to take pictures of me on my board for this post. No actual skating was done in the making of these shots. Nevertheless, I still managed to fall off.

Tuesday 4th of April: Tonight I said to Mum that I was going to skate to the video store to return 'Total Recall' and 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' (the latter isn't as bad as you'd expect. The trick is to forget the novel exists). She replied; "You're going to skate down Sydney Rd at 9pm?! Are you mad?! You'll end up dead in a gutter somewhere!" ad infinitum. OK, so it wasn't the best idea, but actually I was going to stick to the back streets, (and maybe pick up some crack on the way to complete the picture). I just hate the idea of practicing in broad daylight. Anyway, in the end I walked, and instead of getting crack, I got some ice-cream. All that and back in time for 'The O.C.'. What a night of madcap high jinks it was to be sure.

So far, so lame. More as it happens.

My board:

Hopefully the spirit of Turtle Power will guide me. Meanwhile, it says "Cowabunga" on the other side, which is pretty cool.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear alex, thanks for the pics of you 'skating' they made me laugh in a good way...i also laughed heartily at your other entry re crash the movie and the trailer for the other film i use the term loosely. keep up the skating, just imagine how cool you could be grinding up the seats of melbourne whizzing past unsuspecting shoppers and causing all round havock! whats not to aim for?
love lucy xxxxoooo

7:04 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Shit -- just when I was going to bag you Alex -- that is the coolest skateboard I have ever seen.

You truly are a hero in a half shell.

3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My goodness. Don't hide. The turtles can make anyone look cool. Especially if you yell "Cowabunga" every time you fall off.

5:30 PM  
Blogger ManicLovely said...

Damn you, making a 'list type' blog entry just as i was writing my newbie, that is ALSO a 'list type'.

However i forgive you because i feel sorry for you looking so lame in the photo.

The turtle board is nice to look at but shit to skate with im sure. so why dont you mount it on legs and make a cool uprturned coffee table? That would rule.

7:11 PM  
Blogger Jon said...

Holy crap Alex...I turn my back for a week or so and you go and post, what? Three times? For shame.

That is one hell of a fine (gnarly?) skating outfit; Tony Hawk et al could only benefit from your example. And the board is totally rad. Definitely cooler than my own deck, bought from the Reject Shop at age 10 and abandoned only a few weeks but countless grazings later: it consisted of a largely square plank on nearly four wheels, and was canary yellow. It did have a big mean-looking skull de-cal, mind you...although on further consideration that was probably less an attempt to look cool than some sort of health and saftey warning.

Me left knee still aches on cold mornings.

10:31 PM  
Blogger Martie said...


You are officially the cutest blogger evs & that is the officially cutest skateboard evs.

11:11 PM  
Blogger FortuneCat said...

Wow, tubular effort Alex. I'm taller and gangly-er than you are, but if you have some skating success maybe theres hope for me.

9:53 AM  
Blogger Daniel said...

Wait - which film does more damage to the book on which it was based? Total Recall or Dorian Gray?

4:25 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

Ach, I love Lucy. Come back to Australia stat, young lady!

Oh, Ben. Even your mockery is delightful. But, yes, you're right, I do rock.

Svettle, you just might be on to something. I'm sure this skating fancy will pass soon enough, and then I can indulge in a woodwork fancy, as per your advice. In fact the only thing in this world I suck at more than skateboarding is woodwork (oh, and textiles, but that's another story).

Ah, Jon, you're anecdotes always rule comprehensively. We ought to swap skating tales one day (when I actually have some, that is).

Martie, you're a doll. Thanks for the compliment, even though I realise in retrospect that that outfit makes me look like a member of the Partridge family. (This was independently verified by Agent FareEvader, so it must be true.)

Dan, I've never read 'We Can Remember It For You Wholesale', or whatever that PK Dick short story is called, but it would have to plumb some serious depths to be so awful as to deserve such a shoddy representation as 'Total Recall'. Dozza Gray on the other hand was, in my opinion a perfectly fine movie. George Sanderson was a dream. A DREAM, I tells ya.

5:55 PM  
Blogger Fluffy said...

I think I know your street! Does it begin with an H? Feel free to neither confirm nor deny. I live in Brunswick too, near the Retreat.

10:50 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

Haha, you got me, Fluffy! That's awesome. How do you know my street? I thought it was the rule of the inner-city 'burbs that we the inhabitants never travel any further North than our homes (...unless a hip cafe is involved!)

11:35 PM  
Blogger Fluffy said...

I've had friends who live on that street, and in fact know the family who live at the white double fronted place, is it at number 26? Probably your neighbours.

1:53 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

Heh, I see. So we're assuming that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a better adaptation, then? Very good.

5:38 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

Well, I am part of a family who live in a double fronted white house. My parents are Mal and John. Don't s'pose those are your friends?

Even if they're not, it's still a funny coincidence! Nice work, eagle eyes!

6:34 PM  
Blogger Fluffy said...

Don't know your folks, the couple I know are Jan and Julién and they have a little boy called Louis.

4:48 PM  
Blogger Fluffy said...

I'm almost sure that was an unnecessary accent over the e in Julien. He's French. Don't hate.

4:50 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:57 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

If you mean don't hate the French, then I assure you that I don't. (Well, I do have problems with the ones who think banning the hijab in schools was a good idea. But that's another story.) As for accents, I love them! Unnecessary or otherwise.

Next time you drop by my hood, look me up and we'll go skateboarding, dudette.

8:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

with more consideration your photo reminds me of the girl from scoobie doo... the one with glasses (sorry).

12:54 AM  
Blogger TimT said...

Love the photographs gangly girl, do you get dressed up in ribbons and everything every time you go skating?

I have visions of you whizzing down Swanston Street carolling 'I'm Madeleine, I'm Madeleine, I'm ...'

Yes, I have watched much too much children's television.

8:17 PM  

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