Friday, June 30, 2006

Is blood thicker than styling serum?

My dad and I have a complicated relationship. It's not all penny whistles and moon pie, despite what you may have been lead to believe in this blog. Sure, there are the cutesy emails and lovely 21st speeches but there are also the caustic blow-ups fueled by bitter, bitter resentment. One inevitable source of tension between the two of us is, oddly enough, my hair. Dear old Dad simply does not understand how to broach the topic of a new haircut with a style-conscious person such as myself. More irritatingly, he does not appear to care that he lacks this skill.

Up until recently he has had trouble recognising when I've changed my hair. Even drastic things like a new colour, or a new fringe. However, recently he has begun to notice my follicle alterations and, additionally, has begun to offer unsolicited opinions on them. Here are some actual, genuine, real-life comments that he has foisted upon me after seeing various 'dos for the first time:

"What happened to your head?!"
--The unfortunate implication here is that the haircut is so horrible that it actually makes it seem as though my cranium has been disfigured.

"Did you do that on purpose?!"
--I am still struggling to imagine a set of circumstances where a person might have an accidental haircut. Feel free to leave a suggestion in the comments.

"Have you actually seen what it looks like?!"
--Ouch, Dad, ouch.

However, yesterday he reached a new level of derision that mere words could not adequately express. Upon seeing my hair he simply sniggered in my face and walked away to brush his teeth. Thanks, Pop. I'm sure one day I will recover from the wounds each of those guffaws cut into my little heart.

My family outside our house, circa 2003. Don't be fooled; underneath the smiles, waves and anti-war posters there is conflict and thinly veiled hostility.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should count your blessings. My father actually thinks I have dreadlocks, and won't hear otherwise. If I try to correct him, he grows enraged, flings his whiskey bottle against the wall and starts beating on my mother and younger sister - I usually have to run out back and fetch the shotgun. I remember when I was four he said to me, "You'll never get anywhere with a mank head like yours."

Anyway, your dad seems quite nice.

1:00 PM  
Blogger ManicLovely said...

haha. Seriously though you copped a pretty sweet deal in the dad department. And you know this because you're pretty much his carbon copy. Teeheehee.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Your Mum said...

He looks like the sort of person who would enjoy doing work in say, statistics for public transport.

Just a wild guess there.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Erica said...

My mum makes very similar comments about my hair and clothes. But I've gotten to the point where, if she says I look nice, or she likes my outfit, that I must change immediately - I'm obviously not doing enough to rebel.

Your hair is lovely - don't worry about what fathers say, they are just old fuddy duddies anyway.

6:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey alex,
i think your hair is hot hot hot, so never mind what your dad says. whenever i want to do anything to my hair, mum always says, oh no, no dont do that...even if its just trimming split ends! keep it up sexy!
love lucy xxxooo

5:41 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

I just remembered I was going to make a comment last week on this post and forgot.

I cut my fringe on Wednesday of last week, and on Thursday morning I got up and mum said "Erica, your hair!"
"I know, I cut it yesterday," I replied, all excited.
"I can see that. I can't say I like it. But I suppose you'll just tell me that it doesn't matter what I think." was her response.
I just replied with "I like it. I think it suits me and looks cool."

All parents are the same it seems...

12:55 AM  

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