Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Another look into the creepy inner workings of my soul...

It's been a while, I know, but I'm going to be far more diligent in future with the blog. Just like I am diligent about my schoolwork, keeping in contact with my friends who aren't at uni, and continuing with my regime of regular exercise...or not...

Anyway, the reason I decided I had to do an entry tonight is that I've had something building up inside me and I just can't keep it in anymore. It's a sick and depraved obsession that I just have to thrash out; without the slings and arrows of my peers and family members. I have Culkinitus. That's right; I have developed a peculiar fixation (an obsessive crush, if you will) on the one and only... Macaulay Culkin. Wait! Don't call in SVU, (thus causing Benson and Stabler to throw me under the hot lights before I can count to three!), because this crush does not include his forays on to the screen during his years as a minor! Rather, I am talking about the long eye-lashed, adorably floppy fringed, bee-stung lipped GROWN MAN that we (well, I) have come to adore. It first began during the publicity for the film 'Party Monster' in which he starred with the cute (albeit, considerably less foxy) Seth Green. I promptly forgot about him after I clipped some pictures out of a magazine and put them into a manila folder of mine that I have dubbed 'The Beautiful People File' (I have the sneaking suspicion that one day this collection of creepy cut-outs will be used as evidence against me in a court of law). Anyway, I had all but blotted out his very existence when I decided to rent 'Saved!'; a supposed anti-'teen movie' in which he has a supporting role – a role that calls on him to be delectably sardonic, I might add. For the record, though, for all its posturing the movie ain't so super-duper; while the script has some amusing moments and it's really quite clever and refreshing, it could have put the boot in more, and it could have done without the cheesy music (including the non-diegetic songs sung by Mandy Moore... *vomit*) and the even cheesier montage moments. But back to the point, the very next day as I tuned into Rage which seemed to be having some kind of sexy Gen-Xy special and what clip was playing? Why, 'Sunday' by Sonic Youth. And who happens to be in that clip pashing his now ex-wife Rachel, with what Iona from 'Pretty In Pink' would have deemed "strong lips" and later licking said lips at the camera? Mr. Culkin, of course. And so the seeds that had been planted by 'Party Monster' and later water'd and sunn'd by 'Saved!' quickly sprouted at the viewing of this clip. And now I have a full-blown case of Culkinitus. It doesn't hurt that his brother Kieran of 'Igby Goes Down' fame is also kind of a Baldwin, but really, the Mrs. Culkin I would like to be would be Mrs. Macaulay. Despite the fact that he has a girlfriend at the moment, (Jackie from 'That 70s' Show'), I still hold out hope that our blissful and eternal union will occur sometime in the near future... *sigh*

It's good that no one actually reads this blog or otherwise I might have had some pretty serious taunting on my hands.


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