Sunday, February 27, 2005

Damned Liberal Party meat goods...

They sat on the grill seeming innocent enough and in fact rather delicious looking as they sizzled away in their own fat. But these were no ordinary sausages. No, these sausages were forged by Satan's very hand. They were... CONSERVATIVE SAUSAGES! In order to eat one, I had to stand next to a large effigy of Peter Costello they had erected near the BBQ (the effigy, I gleefully add, was later abducted and crudely defaced by some students, before being replaced in its original position. Juvenile though the prank was, just watching those events unfold made me think to myself, "This is what I came to university for!"). But being the left-wing bludger that I am, I'm willing to sacrifice all my ideals in the name of getting something for free. I made a stand by putting plenty of RED ketchup on it (geddit!). Anyway, the point is that later that evening I had stomach pains. Coincidence? I think not!

This noshing on conservative sausage business came about during my O-Week at uni. I spent a bit of time watching the clubs and societies pimp themselves on the last couple of orientation days, which was quite interesting. Checking out the Liberal Club stand I noticed that they had these rather fabulous bumper stickers that proclaimed "RACK OFF LEFTY SCUM" and "SOCIALISM SUX" (notice how they're attempting to reach the hip young cats of today with their adept use of slang? FAB!). Of course I went over immediately; I mean, I just had to have them. I spoke with the young chap manning the booth and we had a convo that went a little something like this:
Me: "Hey, have you got anymore of those bumper stickers?"
Him: "Nah, sorry, they're just for display."
Me: " 'Rack off lefty scum'... that's classic."
Him: "Yeah, there's a lot of them around campus. You wouldn't happen to be lefty scum would you? I wouldn't want to offend you." (This guy is all class, folks!)
Me: "Nah, don't worry about it."
Him: "Because we get a lot of lefty scum wanting those stickers for some reason."
Me: "Yeah... wackos." (I skulk off quickly at this point.)
OK, so he had me pegged. But I wouldn't describe myself as your average campus lefty scum. As for instance, the socialists groups around school shit me more than the Libs. I hold the conservative groups with a certain morbid fascination, whereas the leftist factions serve to infuriate me to an unimaginable degree. And yet you'd probably call me a socialist if you're one of those people who insists on giving labels to people. GO FIGURE, huh?

Anyway, I really did get stomach pains many hours after eating those sausages. So the moral of the story is... well, I don't know. I just felt anecdotal, I guess.


Blogger Ben said...

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10:31 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Yeah those BBQ's are deathtraps.

So you're doing Cinema Studies eh? First year? Perhaps I'll seeya there next week, I can't wait to see another woman get her eye sliced in half.

4:42 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

It was only a calf's eye. Good old pre-Humane Society days. Yeah, well I'll be at the lecture but I will miss all the screenings. I'd already seen 'Un Chien Andalou' luckily, but I have to track down 'The Man with the Movie Camera' somehow... BAH!!! WHY would they make a modern lit lecture (which, by the way has about 300 students in it) on at the same time as the screening??? Am I the only person who likes books AND movies?!?! I don't THINK so!

You're in 3rd year? Year of the Rat was 1984, so that's unless you deferred...

Oh, you so have to say hi to me next week. We're going to watch '8 Mile'... how can you say no?!

8:37 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Yeah for sure, I'm a loner in that class so I could do with some chums.

You are correct, I am indeed a third year. I didn't defer, I just failed alot of stuff. I'm doing a combination of 2nd and 1st year subjects. I'll be missing most of the screenings too - god, I'm actually going to have to fork over dough to rent 8 Mile from the video shop, that's gonna be tough to live with.

9:44 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

You can protect me from this annoying guy I met on Welcome Day. He's a total wanker and drives me nuts. Everytime he walks past, I'll hide behind you.

What other subjects are you taking? You doing Arts/Science or what, Mr. Rock Man?

11:51 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Ok, and I'll hide behind you whenever one of the million people I've grown to despise over the last two years shows up.

I'm doing a straight Science degree, but I thought I'd take a couple of arts electives this year, always wanted to see what Cinema Studies is like.

12:12 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

What do you think of our lecturer?

9:15 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

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9:53 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:26 PM  

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