Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Another helping of ersatz-comedic twaddle... (Ersatz-Comedic Twaddle. That's a cool name for a band*!)

Yesterday, Svetlana and I were having coffee and cake in Pellegrini's and spying on the more attractive clientele by using the mirrors that are affixed to every wall in the shop (when there's that many reflective surfaces in a place it's a crime not to perve on people, lemme tell ya). Anyway, while we were sitting there, minding other people's business, this hulking guy from South Carolina came in and sat down next to us. He was pretty cute (in a quarter-back kind of a way) but, more importantly, he had an amazing voice. It was a very nice rumbling bass - very seductive. The kind of voice that could be well utilised in some kind of hypnosis. But he wasn't just any strapping American lad with an interesting brogue. He is also one of the stars of the stage production of The Lion King, in which he appears as...
It would have made a great pick-up line if he'd been trying to pick us up (he wasn't... What's wrong with us, anyway?!). So we talked to him for a while. It was fun because he didn't get our senses our humour, gave us advice on our musical future (see the next paragraph), referred to me "Miss Alex", told us about the Lion King groupies (ewww), and kept threatening to force me to eat a steak (I'm a veggo). When he left he even paid for us - what a gent. OK, so that anecdote was kind of crappy but it was my most exciting brush with celebrity since I almost jumped off the tram while I was in the middle of working (yes, I work on trams) to chase John Safran down the street. (I'm at little bit in love with him. You'd never guess, would you?)

Recently, Svetlana and I have become like Trent and Jesse from Daria. We constantly talk about how phrases that come up in conversation would make good band names. The problem is that we, unlike the lads from Mystik Spiral, have no band to name. All we have so far is a bassist who hasn't practised for 2 years and a lead singer who can't really sing. We also have no songs** and no drive. But I'll be damned if we haven't come up with some semi-OK names for this phantom band! (And the ones we don't use for the band could be names for the phantom albums!)

Example from Daria:
Jane: "The only thing behind that sound wall was a corn field. And the corn wasn't very helpful."
Jesse: "Helpful Corn. That's a cool name for a band."

Example from our lives:
Svet: "This is so weird. I can't believe we met Mufasa."
Alex: "We Met Mufasa. That's a cool name for a band."
Geno (Mufasa guy): "You can't use names like Mufasa that have been trademarked by Disney, without their permission. If you did you'd be flirting with lawsuits."
Svet: "Flirting With Lawsuits. That's a cool name for a band."

And repeat to infinity.

>By the way, anyone who steals Flirting With Lawsuits is flirting with a lawsuit themselves—that's our intellectual property! (Admittedly that's a fairly liberal use of the word "intellectual".)<

In other news a friend of mine has asked me to collaborate on a page of her sister's zine. Yowzer! I'm really excite, but also kind of nervous because I have no ideas and have no confidence in my zine writing skills. I'm also not quite sure how to break it to her that I'm a no-talent hack, (she clearly hasn't read my blog). I'll keep you posted on my rise to the top of the zine world!

Well, I'm going to go and listen to music now. I finally have the Cure's Wish after I heard it playing in a shop and thought to myself "This is so good," and then; "Hmmm, I have a credit card." I'm sure you can figure out what happened next. I also bought a Donna Summer album. Please don't ask me why. At least she's a step up from Cliff Richard. The emo guy who served me took a liking to me when I came up to the counter armed with Cure albums and he noticed that I had Heathers in my bag. Emo guys are so superficial, aren't they, Svet? (If you're an emo guy reading this blog: I was just joking about you being superficial. Please don't cry.)

* - Or not...
** - We did once write a song about ourselves using our nicknames from year 9 (Brunz and Co). The only problem is that "Brunz and Co" are the only words in the song. I guess it could be Mah Na Mah Na for Generation Z, or whatever generation we're up to now. We also penned a thoughtful piece about the magical land of Stony Point (past the end of the Frankston line). However, I think it might have limited appeal.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

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1:21 AM  
Blogger Daniel said...

Hey you got one too! How wonderful.

Uh, anyway. Your band names would make great album names. A band name has to roll off the tongue... like Nusrah Fateh Ali Kahn and Party.

Uh.... yeah.

1:01 AM  
Blogger Fluffy said...

Reading your blog for the first time today and loving it, and your choice of profile picture - we've had Toy Story 2 on THREE TIMES today from start to finish. For fucks! How good is Joan Cusack?

7:30 PM  
Blogger ManicLovely said...

When is the Maximo Park review coming? You got me all excited for nothing!I cant write mine without reading yours first and then cutting and pasting you know...

4:45 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

I've pretty much written it. I just need to edit it and post it.

Soon, my pretty, soon.

9:03 AM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

By the way; thanks Fluffy! I LOVE Joan; she's the best.

And I love Toy Story 2, but I can understand how three times in one day might be too much. At least you know your kid has a good attention span!

10:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Friend! i finally got around to reading your blog and am v.impressed. i know you've updated it since this post but thought i'd let you know that the reason Mufasa didnt hit on you was because he's probabaly gay. i know this cos a hot gay work colleague of mine has slept with 2/3 of The Lion King cast. if only i was having as much hot and/or gay sex...

8:42 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

I hear ya, Cat!

Thanks for the info.


9:26 AM  
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7:29 PM  
Blogger Clickbank Mall said...

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7:15 AM  

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