Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Q. What do Cliff Richard, carnies and the Twin Towers have in common? A. This blog entry...

When I started this blog I didn't want anyone I knew in real life to read it, so I refused to give out the address. I figured that with this anonymity I could write about whatever I wanted; discuss my friends' secrets in detail, bitch behind the backs of those I love, write about any romantic obsessions too shameful to speak out loud (like Macaulay Culkin, see below), and all that kind of junk. Then I made the mistake of telling a certain heel I know that I had a blog, and so just to be a shit he went and googled till he found it. The man had the gall to guess my bra cup size on the first evening he met me and then followed it up by finding my blog against my will? Harrumph. Oh, well, I guess I will just have to live with the fact that I put the stupid thing on the web in the first place, and so I deserve what I get! Anyway, even more annoyingly my best buddy Svet has also discovered the location of this proverbial ALADDIN'S CAVE OF WONDERS and so she can read it whenever she wants, too. Double harrumph. I've had to go and edit out all the posts in which I detail all the ways I'd like to kill her, and all the sexual fantasies I've had about her and her cat. (Just kidding, Svet. The fantasies didn't really involve your cat; I was just trying to make you jealous.)

Speaking of having sex with cats, I have been listening to a lot of CLIFF RICHARD, lately. Indeed, I have become obsessed with his song 'Wired For Sound'. Yes, that's right; I'm obsessed with a Cliff Richard song. I blame the phenomenon on my months of listening relentlessly to the Cure and, prior to that, the Smiths. The way I see it, in order to balance out the prolonged exposure to depressing, intelligent and/or witty music, my brain is insisting on listening to irritatingly cheerful, disposable crapola. On the other hand it could be that I just have bad taste, but an epiphany like that could be costly in terms of my therapy bills, so let's not go there!

*Insert segway here* I'm really fascinated by words and language generally, but I especially like learning new slang from different countries/time periods/cultures/etc. (You might even say that I put the lex in lexicon!* But, then again, you might not if you think that those kind of jokes are lame.) Anyway, yesterday I found out a new idiom from a young man in Sacramento, (well, from his blog), namely carny. Well, it's not exactly new; rather, it's a time-honoured turn of phrase applied to the folk who travel from town to town with carnivals, and are perceived as inbred and crazy. But this young man was using it in a new context; namely to describe (and deride) goths and punks, etc.! Isn't that a total riot? Not that I have anything in particular against either subculture, in fact they're often pretty snappy dressers (something I have a lot respect for). Still, I find it really enjoyable to make fun of people who take themselves uber-seriously. So, next time I'm at Flinders' Street Station and I trip over some year 10 who's reading Kierkegaard, wearing too much black eyeliner and setting her hand on fire, I won't forget to shout;
"Gang way, you carny!"
It'll be ever so much fun.
A new reason that I'm going to Hell:
-I bought a snow dome of NYC simply because it contained the Twin Towers in the cityscape. Sick, no?
Alrighty, that's enough disjointed rambling for one evening. Catch ya on the flipside!
* - in order for this joke to work, it helps to know that my name is Alex.


Blogger Ben said...

Far out, thanks for telling me you changed your URL - I just had a million posts to catch up on.

Slowly but surely, I shall know as much about you as you do about me... muahahahaha.

1:29 PM  
Blogger ManicLovely said...

Hey Arex, thanks for reading my new and shiny blog! Even though it was really scathing and catty, why are you so defensive? I already know the most embarrassing crap about you!
That bitchy stuff about fareevader was funeeeee. It wasn't very nice of him to google until he found your blog.
Oh well, c ya round. Tonite I think, the masquerade party remember? NOw thats lame.

3:16 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Your Mum said...

I think what you said about me was totally justified. And I didn't really google you that hard at all.

Ben linked to you.

I clicked on the link that I thought best fitted.

I was right.

I refrained from linking to you from my blog to respect your privacy.

That is all.

And Svet, no hard feelings. You two weren't the only people to give me feedback about my blog, either. But I do recall those words being used, not specifically by you - and I did ponder them in the interests of constructive criticism.

Now, I'm off to drop a toaster in the bathtub.

8:52 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Hahahahaha, you crazy kids.

9:50 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

So, are you saying that you found me through Ben's blog after all? Because when I asked you if that was the case you said:
"No, I'm just good at the art of google searching."

Re: the other stuff: see my olive branch email!

Ben: I'm glad our insanity entertains! I should make that my blog's schtick; the three of us bickering and paying each other out, etc. Whaddaya think, hmmm?

2:07 AM  
Blogger ManicLovely said...

Agent Fare-evader, are you saying OTHER people commented on your blog at the party? You must be way famous then. But im glad you pondered on our constructive criticism, what did you ponder? Also, don't you know that making toast in the bath never works!? It gets mondo soggy and gross, be careful baby!

Hey Alex, remember when I got TOO excited about saving my toast from breakfast and taking it for lunch? I was all like, "It will be like breakfast all day!" How wrong I was, it was stale and disgusting.

Hey Ben, if you find us so amusing you should click onto Al and I's video link, i'm sure Fare-evader has already found it.

5:22 PM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

Sugarlump, my favourite part of the toast anecdote is the bit where I tell you what a crazy idea it is, and how it will never work, and then ME BEING RIGHT. As ususal. I love anecdotes where I am right.

Meanwhile, your comment was fricken hilarious, man. That soggy toast bit is gold.

7:05 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Breakfast all day? If I was an old British man with big sideburns I'd have a hillariously outraged look on my face right now.

1:08 PM  
Blogger ManicLovely said...

Hey im getting bored, update biatch! I cant handle the real world!!!!!!

6:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you want new slang? I can teach you to swear in German or Russian if you want!


Pizdet = bullshit
Pizda = the C word
Mandavoshka = c*nt lice (obviously you can only say this one to a girl)

verfickte scheisse = f*cked up shit
Fotze = the C word
Geh mal Einhandsegeln = go f*ck yourself (it actually directly translates to go and sail with one hand!)

I will have more for you at the next grogblogging :-)

1:07 AM  
Blogger divinetrash said...

Thanks for that, Rachel!

I think I will have to get you to teach me how to pronounce them at the next grogblogging thing!

1:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

for sure! Considering they were taught to me over beer, it's the best way to teach :-)

2:02 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Speaking of - are you going to No3 Alex? And do a new post already!

9:55 PM  

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